Women's English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by
now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure ... go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = ... and carpeting, and furniture,
and wallpaper
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good
game on TV
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
I'm not yelling = Yes I am yelling because I think this is
important
Men's English
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you
Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you
Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice tits!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it ... We'd
better have sex now!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex
with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
with other guys
(While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress
and let's go home and
have sex!"
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