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Jokes / More Chuck Norris One Liners

    • Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 

    • Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

    • Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

    • Google no longer runs searches on Chuck Norris.

    • Chuck Norris doesn't step away from the vehicle. The vehicle steps away from Chuck Norris.

    • Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

    • Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

    • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

    • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

    •  Chuck Norris get his driver's license at the age of 16 Seconds.

    • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
                                                      More Chuck Norris Jokes

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Jokes / "My sister is blonde"

    Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
    After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
    The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
    Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
    After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"
    The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow. - - - -
    ("com-for-da-bul" ) Source URL:
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Jokes / No help requred

    Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student aide, John found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need John’s help to leave the hospital. 
    After a short talk about rules being rules, he reluctantly let John wheel him to the elevator. 
    On the way down John asked him if his wife was meeting him. I don’t know,” he said. “She is till upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”
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Jokes / Day off

    Two factory workers are talking:
    The woman says :
    "I can make the boss give me the day off."
    The man replies, "And how you are gonna do that?"
    The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
    Their boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
    The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
    The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
    The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
    The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."Source URL:
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